Coping with Infidelity and Facing the Battle of Saving Your Marriage

Did you know that 9 out of 10 men cheat due to their own insecurities? Yes it is very true…after sitting across the table from over 100 couples in 2009, I  became very anxious to perform a case study. Every client that I asked to participate chose to do so willingly, as long as I kept their identity confidential. So here are the findings of my case study 100 men ranging in age from 25 to 51 years of age, all (most of them didn’t realize it) had an overwhelming insecurity they were internally battling within themselves. This insecurity inducing their desire or temptation to engage in an extra marital affair.

These grown men were putting their families at risk because of what friends thought of them, feeling locked down, feeling unattractive, wondering if the weight they gained over the years affected their appeal to women. No, but that isn’t all folks, this one was my absolute favorite…the last male client I interviewed for this study cheated on his wife because he felt she was “aging gracefully”, as he had just plain old “aged”. He was jealous of her, and wanted her to hurt so that he could prove to himself he still “had her”. Please note that during initial interviews these men were NOT referring to their causes for cheating as insecurities, I later revealed this to them.

Oh what we will do for the satisfaction of feeling in control? Cheat on your spouse, disappoint your children, potentially risk ruining your family. We have beyond lost the concept of true love and stability, and if you and your spouse are experiencing something similar. It is going to take someone to stand up for your marriage, and get it back on track! This is NOTHING to be ashamed about, at least you realize that your marriage is in trouble…I see so many people blindly living in denial. It’s okay to admit your marriage could use some help, honestly I don’t care how strong a marriage is every couple should seek marriage advice! This enables you to grow together instead of apart, we are all only human so don’t hold a “man” up to “God expectations”. You’ll get hurt every time!

It doesn’t matter if it was an affair, a loss of focus, whatever it was that started the two of you down the path of a troubled marriage; only one of you or the both of you together have the power to turn this thing around. The truth in society today is there seems to be more marriages ending, than there are healthy ones but you and your marriage deserves a fight! I hate to see a couple walk out of our agency knowing neither of them have even attempted to reconcile their marriage, this union was meant to be for a life time not just the meant time. Remember it starts with you, and if it doesn’t work out…you can walk away knowing you did all that YOU could! Best of Luck!

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